If you are in a position of authority in your organization, exercising your power to affect change may be a quick and immediate choice. But is this the most effective way to influence a change in behavior? Possibly not if your goal is to effectuate a result that will have lasting benefits. There's an old adage that 'a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.' Without due consideration of others' needs and level of understanding you may get instant gratification, but the long term buy-in to your idea will be severely limited. Similar to the golden rule, the way to get others to respect and admire you is to show your respect for them.

The work required in this endeavor is to learn what drives others. If you don't know what's really important to others and how it affects their deeply held values, you are not touching the right nerves. How can you craft your solution to help others further their goals?

The concept of 'mental judo' comes to mind. In the martial arts of judo, the force of the opponent is re-directed for your own defense. You want to take the person in the direction in which they are already moving and deflect the danger away from yourself. Mental judo simulates this concept of moving force. If you can learn what motivates others and arrange to coordinate your goals with theirs you will achieve win-win solutions. And win-win is the only long term successful strategy. If one of the parties 'loses,' then it will only be a matter of time before the deal will disintegrate and you have to perform your work again. This is a waste of creative energy, not to mention money.

In negotiation strategy (and influence is a negotiation), whether you are speaking with associates in your company or outside, there are some valuable principles to remember. Listen first to understand other's needs and priorities. Think about what creative alternatives can be offered and accepted. What compromise can you accept with the understanding that both sides will likely be somewhat dissatisfied at the result? What can you offer that may be of esteemed value to another but won't really cost you that much? Make sure the time and atmosphere is right to deliver your message and set the framework. We all have lots of agenda items to manage and you want attention to be focused. Select your highest priorities to pursue. You won't have the time and energy to cover everything and neither will your associate.

Ask direct questions. What will be the personal and professional impact of this decision on you? Run the 'catastrophe report.' Ask and analyze 'what is the worst thing that can happen in this case?' If you are prepared to accept the consequences then you can proceed. Consider offering tentative hypotheses or alternatives. 'What would happen if we proceed with this type of plan?' Ask others how they will benefit from your plans. What are the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats (SWOT analysis) associated with this program? Set the stage to brainstorm to elicit creative contribution. Let the ideas flow before critical thinking is applied. What can be learned from past experiences to improve results this time?

Allow time for others to express their feelings, fears and hopes and not just what they think. Emotions are powerful change agents. Take the lead and express your own feelings first. Men have more issues with this concept. But how you feel can be an important persuader. It's been said that 'people may not remember what you said but they will remember how you made them feel.' Compile an inventory list of what you can legitimately offer to others for their participation. These items may include power, recognition, money, opportunity, promotion, education or vacations. Make clear that for our success in this enterprise, here's the reward you can expect.

But to do better you must be better and you can improve. Start by becoming well versed on your topic. Read books. Take a course. Search the internet. Interview successful people. Invest time and money in yourself. You are worth it and the results achieved by your enhanced capabilities will bear attractive dividends for the future. Hold firm to your values and position when necessary. You will gain both respect and self-respect. Abe Lincoln's mother left him with a simple piece of advice. “Be sure you're right and then go ahead.” He listened and obviously it worked for him and his organization.

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Joseph Greco is president of Greco Apparel. Visit them on the web at www.grecoapparel.com