Learning to Improve for Success

Did you ever wonder how or why some relationships seem to go smoothly from the beginning and with other people you can’t seem to get to first base? With some people you communicate effortlessly and have fun from the start but relating to others is like mixing oil and water?

One of the reasons this may occur has to do with our natural style of thinking based on the way our brains happen to be wired. There is a way to understand and improve this situation with an introduction to the concept of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). Originally developed more than thirty years ago by John Grinder and Richard Bandler, two psychologists from California in their book, Frogs Into Princes. The authors described that NLP is a process of modeling conscious and unconscious patterns that are unique to each of us in such a way that we are continuously moving toward a higher potential.

Our orientation to thinking falls into three categories: visual, auditory and feelings, with one of these being our preferred style. Any of these styles can be successful, but they have to be identified in yourself and others so a common platform can be established. There are methods to observe another’s style and model behavior to help develop rapport. Rapport is the basis for trust and achievement through collaboration. For example, a visually-oriented person (such as I am), will say things like, “I can see what you are describing and I get the picture.” A person with an auditory style may respond by saying, “That sounds like a good plan and I hear what you are saying.” If you respond to a visual thinker with auditory comments there may be somewhat of a disconnect. These examples are just the start of a deeper way to understand about relating to others. NLP is the study of what works in thinking, language and behavior. It is a way of coding and reproducing excellence that enables you to consistently achieve the results you want for yourself, your business and your life.

Why would a study of NLP be beneficial? Your unconscious mind cannot distinguish between what is imagined and what is real. In the classic book, Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill, the author states, “Whatever the mind of man can see and believe, it can achieve.” Our lives are self-fulfilling prophesies. We are what we think about most of the time. NLP is about managing our process of thinking. By employing a system of modeling successful behavior we can improve our results and coach others in our efforts to build continual learning organizations. The basis of continual improvement is feedback. With better understanding of interpersonal communications, we learn that there is no failure, only feedback. NLP at work, teaches us methods to give and receive feedback in a non-critical or threatening way.

Here’s a shortcut to developing your ability to give feedback:

Choose someone to whom you’d like to give feedback.

Think of the outcome you’d like to give them and the win/win outcome that you want to achieve.

Imagine the context in which you would like to give them the feedback that will be most conducive to its being accepted.

Think about how this feedback is a pertinent to you as it is to them.

Think about what resources you need to be able to give this feedback constructively.

Imagine how you can ensure that you are in a very strong rapport with the other person before you give the feedback.

Imagine giving the feedback and imagine the other person receiving it in a way in which you would like.

Step back so that you can see yourself and the other person in this process. Are there other resources you may need?

Imagine both you and the receiver of the feedback learning from the feedback in such a way that you strengthen your relationship in the future.

Ask what you have learned from this whole process?

While methods learned from NLP can be used at the individual level, such as giving feedback, NLP also applies at the organizational level. Some companies have a “problem-thinking” orientation which is thinking about what you don’t want. This leads to “away-from” motivation in that you are motivated away from what you don’t want. The flip side would be an “outcome thinking” mode which indicates that the person is imagining what they do really want as if they have stepped forward in time and have got it. Having a clear vision of where you’re headed will help enable this outcome thinking. This is an expression of what the employees of the company really want because there’s a higher level of motivation and commitment to the future. The staff enjoys their work and the vision is an inspiration both to those who work within the company and to those with whom they come in contact: clients and suppliers.

In developing our corporate strategy at Greco Apparel, one of the obvious challenges to be considered is the continual opening of the Far East sourcing with the elimination of quotas under the World Trade Organization rules. Our response to this was to develop and offer a “twin-plant” or two hemisphere sourcing strategy to serve our clients. This would enable quick turn, fulfillment manufacturing in the Western Hemisphere combined with the advantage of lower priced, albeit, longer lead time Asian production. We planned to continue our production of garments in the West (we manufacture both in the Dominican Republic and the USA), and with my trip to China this year we have developed Far East sourcing in China and other countries as well. A few weeks ago, we were able to successfully confirm significant orders from a major client to utilize this strategy.

How can NLP work for you? In thinking about this year ending and setting our goals for next year, here’s a shortcut to achieving what you really want.

Think of something you really want - not something you don’t want or want less of or feel you should have.

Is it within your control? (To be the next President may not be, but to have your partner behave differently is!) Find the part of the outcome that is within your control.

Imagine yourself having achieved what your really want. Let your unconscious do this for you and allow yourself to dream. Be aware of what you are seeing, hearing, and feeling physically, smelling tasting and feeling emotionally.

In which contexts do you imagine yourself with this outcome?

Imagine how this can be or is a real benefit to the significant people in your life. It is vital that this is win/win. What sort of cost will you have to pay to achieve this? Are you willing to pay this price? If not, let go of the outcome and put your energies somewhere else.

How does achieving this outcome contribute to a higher goal for you or an overall purpose that you have in your life?

In what way does achieving this outcome fit with who you are and who you are becoming?

What specifically are you going to do that demonstrates your commitment to achieving this outcome? When specifically will you do that? Be very precise here about your action plan.

As you can see (hear or feel), there are some powerful tools available by learning more about interpersonal communications and using the principles found in NLP. I urge you to read further for a deeper and richer understanding that will enable you to add value to your life and your organizations.

At this time I would like to share with you that I am delighted that this month I have completed work for my Master of Science in Organizational Dynamics degree from the University of Pennsylvania. I sincerely thank my editor, Jackie Rosselli and my publisher, Rick Levine, at UniformMarket for their support in allowing me to publish these articles. Thank you also to my readers for allowing me a forum to share ideas gleaned from my learnings. I trust these concepts are helpful to you. I wish you all a happy holiday and successful and healthy New Year!

(References in this article are from the book NLP At Work by Sue Knight, 2002, who offers practical insights and implementation plans).

Joseph Greco is president of Greco Apparel. Visit them on the web at www.grecoapparel.com